Dec 5, 2011

It's December

Well, it's finally December, and you know what that means. Time to get everything planned for the big day on the 25th! This year I'm going to capture Santa if it's the last thing I do.

I don't want to give too much away here, because I have suspicions that Old Fat Nick reads my blog, but let's just say when the tubby bearded man gets down the chimney this year he'll be TRAPPED like a BEAR, if you catch my drift.

(I set up a bear trap.)

If that doesn't work, I've got a backup where I tranquilize the reindeer while he's downstairs and then chase him down on foot. The guy weights like 400 pounds. I'm sure I can outrun him.

If you've got any good suggestions (please read keyword GOOD not stupid) let me know. I'll gladly steal them from you. You can consider it a Christmas gift to me if you want.


  1. You should make sure that Fred doesn't accidentally step on the bear trap like when he triggered the shark cage a while back.

  2. you could poison the cookies

  3. Tranquilizers are actually less effective than TV and movies show them to be; ie, they aren't instantaneous, so until they take effect, you will have 9 very angry reindeer. Very angry MAGIC reindeer.

    However, you could bear trap the reindeer.

    But there's something key that will really give you the advantage: Santa comes through the chimney. If you can find a way to trap him in the fireplace, you're set.

  4. Aww... Someone already mentioned poisoned cookies.
    There could be a trap mechanism in the cookie plate. Or the cup of milk can become a muzzle... for some reason. Maybe hide something in the tree. A mine under the treeskirt?
    For the reindeer, try scaring them off. Just because they're magic doesn't make them brave. They're deer. Make sure Fred scares them off. If he messes up, he'll get beat up, not you.
    Good luck!

  5. Hypothetically speaking, if you were angelic for an entire year and asked only for Santa as your captive for your Christmas present... Would he be obligated to honor that?

  6. "if you were angelic for an entire year"

    Well, there's your problem.

  7. Sceb, why haven't you made another blog post yet? I have been waiting for like, a year. Literally.

  8. Guy Who Comes Up With Great IdeasNovember 27, 2012 at 10:40 PM

    Why don't you have exploding cookies, like remote detonated charges. When he eats them, and then leaves, a click of the button will blow Fatboy to bits... it should work great.


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