Mar 27, 2013

What's Up, Chumps?

Hey, yeah, so I have this blog still. I totally forgot about it. Today I went online to to find a picture of Fred that I could attach to a dartboard and throw things at (darts, nails, really anything pointy) and saw my face there at the top and remembered this thing existed. So here I am, telling all you losers who have been stopping by every week for two years without any updates that you're really dumb for doing that.

Like, seriously, every week for two years? I think it's time to take a hint. And that hint is "I'm not updating this blog anymore you should get on with your life." Of course if you've been coming back so long it's pretty likely you don't have a life, so step one would be "Get a life." Here's a surefire way to do that:

How to Get A Life

A primer for hopeless idiots who have been showing up to this blog for two years waiting for an update.

1) Stop showing up to this blog waiting for updates.
2) Buy a 3DS.

There you go, I fixed it for you. Now you don't have to wander the streets anymore contemplating if your life is meaningless without Stupid Stuff is Stupid updates. You'll have a nice shiny 3DS to keep your mind from having to struggle with deeper thought. That's why they exist, to distract us from bigger questions like why we exist. And now just talking about bigger questions have started me thinking about them so I'm going to stop talking and get back to numbing my brain with hours of Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon.

About the Author: Sceb the space chicken hasn't been here for two years and has no idea why this blog still manages to get several hits a day.