Now that I’ve been doing this blog for a while, I realize that the word “stupid” might be losing some of it’s pizzazz because of how often I use it. Sure, I could put it in BOLD RED TEXT like Doritos might, but instead I thought I’d just learn a few new words that meant the same thing. And since I was at the mall yesterday, I stopped into the bookstore there to pick up a Thesaurus.
Except a thesaurus was $19.99.
What the biscuit kind of madness is this? Twenty dollars for a book filled with words? There’s not even a story or pictures! It’s just words! Not only that, but a little website called Thesaurus.com gives you the exact same thing for free. What kind of brain-dead numbskull would pay money for something they could get for free?!
Okay, so stop right there. I know you’re thinking “Sceb weren’t you going in to that store to buy a thesaurus?” Yeah, okay, but I thought it would be like a dollar. And I was already there and then I wouldn’t have to come home and turn on my computer and wait for it to load, yadda yadda yadda. I wouldn’t spend $20 on it, obviously. Except the fact that it was on the shelf for $20 means someone WOULD. Some dense, doltish, gullible, half-witted sluggard who is ruining it for the rest of us because if they refused to pay $20 then the store would have to cut the price down to a dollar and I could get one. How senseless. And also simpleminded, slow, and stolid.
When I told my brother SC about it, he started going off about “the economy” this and “supporting bookstores” that. What moronic pointlessness. If they want me to support their precious published word, they shouldn’t have given me access to it FOR FREE beforehand. They should have charged me UP FRONT and given me no choice but to pay for it. That’s not my fault, that’s their own foolish, puerile decision.
On a completely unrelated note, I expect you all to buy the upcoming FredtheMonkey.com DVD featuring all the old cartoons from 2003 – 2006. I’m going to use the money to buy a mechanical bull for the basement.
ABOUT the AUTHOR: Sceb the space chicken is a world class expert at riding mechanical bulls. At least he would be if he could get enough money to buy one so he could practice.